On the march of time

No, seriously, this is why I really need to get back to updating this blog at least three times a week. I ignore it, and then I have the problem of thinking of how best to organize my thoughts in a somewhat cohesive manner (even though I myself am not a very cohesive person 99.9% of the time). See, I don't think I have ADD...but I do recognize that I have a short attention span. So unless I'm focusing all of my brain, it's impossible for me to be cohesive. Right now, I'm writing this as I write in my LiveJournal and as I consider where I should go next in Final Fantasy XII.

But, then again, there's a good place to start, Final Fantasy XII. For those of you in the audience who play video games and play RPGs (all three of you), you're more than likely familiar with the Final Fantasy series. Most people say it's the best series out there with the best games, ect ect, but that is not my opinion. Personally, the best one (and perhaps the most beautiful RPG ever created) is Final Fantasy VI, for the SNES (with a PS1 remake and soon a GBA remake). FFVII is overrated, FFVIII had a stupid plot, and FFX had crappy characters with a plot that I hate. I don't have anything on FFIX, I love that game. Now, since FFXII had been in development for five years, I had my doubts on this game. But wow, was I wrong to doubt it. I think I love this game almost as much as I do FFVI. It's beautifully made graphically, with the CGs being far better than the CG in FFVII: Advent Children. And the plot...talk about intelligent and cohesive. The characters are all likeable, and not a single one has made me cringe in a "oh sweet Jesus what is he/she thinking?!"

In terms of mechanics, it plays like an offline MMORPG. This is both good and bad. It's good because it means that battles are very quick and rely on efficiency. This is also bad, because it's as hard as an MMO. I've spent 30+ hours on the game, and I'm not even half-way through, because I need to devote half of my time to leveling up and getting loot to sell to buy spiffy equipment and weapons. I wouldn't have such a problem with gil (FF's currency) if enemies dropped it along with loot, but sadly, that's not the case. As for character's stats and such, all six party members are more or less even, but each character is more suiteable for one role than another. This also applied to weapons (I can't imagine having Penelo using guns, something Balthier uses as default). As for difficulty, this game is not the cakewalk FFX was for about 80% of the time. You will break a sweat trying to beat these bosses, starting from the very first one. Strangely, this doesn't bother be, because I spend $50 for a game, it better damn well be worth my time. So, overall, it comes SO close to topping FFVI as my all-time favorite, but I need to beat the game to decide for sure on that.

Asides wasting time on Final Fantasy XII, life has been moving at a good pace for me. Much of my time has been divided between getting everything together for the January semester in Sagrado, looking for a part-time job in the San Juan area (specifically, Plaza las Américas) and keeping the house together while the family's out during the day. In Sagrado, where I was once a Theater major, I'm now majoring in Producción y Mercadeo para la Radio. I realized that, as much as I love acting and the theater, I'll be living in a box with the amount of pay I'd get from doing it. Radio is something I both like and can give me a steady salary once I'm finished. But I do plan on getting a minor in Proyección Escénica, so my Theater classes won't go to waste. I don't know, but between you and me, I find it strange that I study in Sagrado. It's the most expensive university on the island, and hence, is a haven for rich kids and whatnot. The student body and the atmosphere are the exact opposite of me, which makes me wonder why I didn't just study in UPR in Río Piedras. Maybe I like being weird. That, and the education in Sagrado is pretty damn good anyway.

As for the part-time, I've applied at Borders, Claire's, Journey's, The Children's Place and PacSun. I already had an interview with Borders, and they informed me that they'd call me in January, when I said I was available, to tell me if I've been hired or not. Everywhere else, I'm still waiting. If I don't get hired, I guess I'll just do work-study, because part of the reason I want the job while I study is to help pay off my studies (plus spending cash). I think I might get work-study even if I get hired, because the more I earn to pay off whatever I owe, the better it'll be for my parents. If it ends up like that...I'm more than likely not to even be able to relax till Thanksgiving next year (since I plan on taking summer class as well). Still, I won't really mind, because I like to be busy and do different things.

Another thing I'll be doing (God forbid if I can find the time) is working out at night at Sagrado's gym. I've been working out almost ever since I've come back home, since I realized that the only way to stay the weight I am now (160lbs) is to work out, since I'm actually eating food now. Personally, I'm lazy and I hate sweating, but I'm doing it because I should. I want to get back in shape, at any rate. In terms of what I do 'round the Internet, I've been detaching myself from my usual forums and such, mainly because I won't have time for it anymore, and because I want a disconnect. I still do plenty of blogging though. My LiveJournal is the one I usually update with most frequency, since that's my personal journal. My other blogs vary. I'll be updating this one more often, as I come up with more things to write/rant about. I guess I just haven't had the motivation for it lately, and I simply felt the need to update this blog's audience on how my life goes.

As for relationships and all that, I'm not quite sure what to say. I've got a date practically set up next month when I move back to Sagrado's dorms, which will involve seeing a movie, then probably hooking up and having sex. The guy's cool, and I've known him since 2005, when I started in Sagrado. But there're a couple of problems. The first, smallest problem is the fact that I kind of like another friend of mine, who (as my infamous luck would have it) is taken. I'm not the type of bitch to steal guys who are taken (though I am a bitch in many other aspects), so I'm trying to content myself with staying good friends with the guy. The second, also pretty small problem, is that, with the guy I've got the date with, I'm not sure where I want to go with it, if anywhere at all. I had the same problem the first time around (yes, I did go out on a date with him previously).

And the last, very very big problem, is my current state of unrequited love with my ex. See, I thought I'd be over him by now, because I've always been over my previous ex's after a few weeks. But, here I am, almost two months later, and I can't seem to get over him, hard as I try. I've got a very bad case of unrequited love here, and I'm not sure what to do about it. The main problem here, though, is that I want to be over him, so I can stop being cynical, bitter and (sometimes) depressed (since I'm none of these, most people will tell you I'm a very sweet person). But, at the same time, I want to hold on anyway because I still love him very much, like we humans tend to do at times with people. It's even harder now, since I learned, through a mutual friend of ours, that he doesn't seem to be fine with the break-up either. I thought he would be, since his reasons for ending the relationship were because he didn't feel passion for me anymore, and that he didn't want a serious relationship anymore. I figured he'd be having the time of his life. To learn that he's feeling hurt too...I can't quite describe it.

Finally, last but not least, new music recommendations! Or just recommendation. I've been listening to a lot of The Red Paintings lately. They're an Australian band, and I saw them live at first when I saw The Dresden Dolls at The Vic in Chicago. I'd been meaning to download music by them, but only recently did I see anything on LimeWire. They're amazing, they're the exemplification of the experimental genre, mainly for their usage of visual art in both their CD covers and their live shows. When I saw them live, they were dressed as Japanese geishas, squids and ghosts. And their music is beautiful. I keep listening to their track called Walls, since they played it live. It still gives me the same feeling, the feeling of just being lifted from your body and getting lost. I also recommend World Leader Pretend. It's great indie rock.

I believe that's the majority of what I intended to express. I now leave you all with this.



Come on, it's cute! The moogles in FFXII are adorable. I wish I could ask for a live one for Christmas, but they're not real...