Tuesday, August 22, 2006

On scraping a living

It's amazing at how humbled you can become when your roommate's check isn't coming in on time...the same check needed to buy food. Between last week and now, we've been able to survive solely on fried rice and home-baked cookies, plus water. We've run out of main ingredients to make good rice though, we ate all the cookies...and I'm broke, since I bought our last meal of ten soft tacos today. The check should be here tomorrow, but I'm actually reminded of college, in which I basically lived the same way.

On the plus side, I've lost ten pounds, since the beginning of the month. Can I just say wow? Wow. I completely didn't expect that, but it makes some sense kinda, considering my food intake since the beginning of August. But it gives me a confidence boost, since I'm basically in Chicago for acting and rockstar-dom, and I kinda have to look like hot. I think I already do, but yeah, y'never know.

Job-wise, I had an interview today, I have one tomorrow, and I have to call back two places between Thursday and Friday. This makes me quite optimistic, considering that I need a job now, so I can have an income flow, plus so I can pay for my own apartment. My current roommate and I are in her mom's apartment, since she's gone till next year, but we both want to move more downtown to Chicago, or just a nice place in general. Also, considering the fact that most of my starting roles might not be paid for, it's a good idea to keep a job kicking around and all that.

But you know, despite all this, I'm having a lot of fun. I honestly feel really free now. I feel like I will make it and reach my goals, y'know?

Anyway, back to eating tacos. Pray the check gets in tomorrow.

Friday, August 18, 2006

On cats and Goodwill

Alright folks, it sure has been awhile. This is mostly my fault. Lack of inspiration, and also I had a lot on my mind. 'Course, that's why I have this and my LJ, but that's beside the point.

So, it is official my readers. I am now a Chicagoan. That's right, I'm reporting live from Chicago. I gotta tell you all, it's been one heck of an experience thus far. In San Juan, it'd been awhile since I'd been in, since I don't usually fly that much, but it was kinda fun. Got my ticket, spent hours randomly walking around, till I boarded and the plane took off. I went with nothing but a dufflebag of clothes and my (in)famous Jack Skellington bag, with cigarettes, a book and some money. I felt like a little kid on Christmas morning as the plane landed. It was 9pm central, and I could see the whole city lit up, and all the cars on the highway. It was amazing. All I could think was "wow, I'm in Chicago, I'm in the US, finally".

The past few days, then, have been about looking for a job. I've applied to about five or seven places already, so I hope some place hires me. My now-roommate's been great. I'm still so very grateful for providing a roof over my head. I even have a bed. I won't mooch off long though, because I don't like that. I just need to get myself on my feet first, even if it takes awhile and doesn't happen immediately. At any rate, what's important, after I get a job and get, y'know, money, is starting on my way to being that famous actress and writer I want to be. I'll be honest though, I almost didn't go through with it. I almost stayed in Puerto Rico. I didn't realize it till I got some reassurance, but I guess I was scared I'd have to do this completely by myself. It turns out, though, that I do have people who're voluntarily grabbing my wrist to lead me on my new-found path.

This could be the crappiest decision in my life. But it could also be the best decision ever. And that's why I took the plunge, because I won't know till I find out. I feel immensely bad, for leaving behind my family and friends, mainly because I left without telling anyone. I know, bad choice on my part. But I just didn't feel the need to tell anyone, really. Once my mind was set, I realized that this was something I wanted to do, that this was something I had to do. No, it's not "destiny", that's just stupid. It's just the path I wanted to set myself on. I felt that if I'd stayed back home any longer, I might've slowly let my dreams and hopes die on the inside.

Now though, my task is to prove people wrong, and show that I have the drive and strength to succeed and to make my goals happen. I know I do, even if I need to ask for help. It's just proving it to others that's the hard part. And so, I suppose this blog will now be for the purpose of telling the story of my next adventure in life. Things've just started, and I've gotta ride this rollarcoaster out.

I must say though, I've had so much fun laughing at blatant stereotypes whenever me and my roommate go out. It's just insane. I guess I'm too used to the stereotypes of home. Then again, I'm also living with three cats, one of whom's deaf and meows at me at night, and I spent some of today looking through Goodwill. Some stuff was nice, but when I get money, I'd rather buy stuff at Kohl's or Marshalls or something. I'm poor...but not that poor.

A man can always tell.