Friday, October 27, 2006

On the means to the end

Well, my faithful readers. If you are, indeed, looking at this, then thank you very much for sticking with me throughout my crazy thoughts and rants, since...May, right? How time flies, don't you think? Or maybe it only goes faster when you keep yourself occupied. The past three months have been faster than January to August, and it's only because I've been out of the house, rather than cooped up, doing similar things day to day.

Anyway, if you are indeed a faithful reader and aren't, say, reading this for the first time, or worse, a spambot intent on sabotaging my precious blog with inane advertisements, then you'll know that I've been living in Chicago for the past three months. It's been a crazy ride. I've done things I've never done before (like getting high and not making it back to the apartment till the next day), and I've made it one hell of a ride. In fact, I've become completely enamored with Chicago. I never thought I'd like another city as much (or even more) than NYC or San Juan, but I was wrong. Chicago is definitely the place to be. You'll believe me the day you take the Red line downtown during rush hour and see all the kinds of people around. I also highly recommend walking around the Loop, Millenium Park, and the Belmont and Clark areas of the city. Especially Belmont.

But, I've done a lot of hard thinking for about a month or so (could be less or more, I don't know, my mind has a lot of black moments...and no, it's not the alcohol). And I've decided that my adventure in Chicago is, for the moment, coming to a close. As much as I love living her, and as much as I'd love to continue living here, I think it might be best to just go back home. I don't mention it much, or show it much (asides in my LiveJournal or to very close friends), but it has been quite hard, despite all the fun I'm having. I realize that this is part of the whole thing, and part of the price tag on freedom and fun, but I think I still need more time to mature and grow and learn. So, I've decided to go home, finish college there, and then come back in a few years.

I've talked this over with my dad, and we've decided that this'll be a surprise for my mother's birthday, which is in November. I just hope she doesn't die of a heart attack when she sees me. This also gives me time to get college in order. I plan on either continuing in Sagrado, or transferring to UPR, either in Río Piedras or Mayaguez. I've figured that at least trying to finish college and getting a degree might help me to some degree in the future, even if it's a Humanities/Liberal Arts major, which guarantees that I'll be living in a box someday anyway. Besides, it'll be another adventure in life.

I don't expect things to be the same when I get back. I don't expect all of my friends and family to forgive me for what I've done, and I won't be asking for forgiveness or sympath. Those are things I don't ever ask for in life. But I also don't apologize for myself and the decisions I make. I learn, I grow, and that's that, even if I get more cynical in the process. My decisions and my mistakes are mine and mine alone, and I don't need to apologize or make excuses to anyone. People have their own decisions to make, anyway. So any amends I need to make from here on out for my selfishness, I'll do it, gladly. I set out to do something I wanted to do for once, and I set out to prove something. I did what I thought was right, and I still think I'm doing what's right.

At any rate, this'll only mean that my autobiography'll be quite interesting once I'm famous.

On an additional note, I went to see The Dresden Dolls live over at the Vic downtown. They were fabulous. They put on an awesome, unforgettable show, and they proved to me why they are awesome in my book. It's not just their music that's great, it's the fact that they can put on a good show to go with the music.

I also decided to listen to My Chemical Romance's new album, The Black Parade. I don't feel like giving a track-by-track review, so here's a short 'n sweet summary. Verdict: it sucks. It's a very generic and lame attempt at doing what Green Day did with American Idiot, creating a "rock opera" album. Every single song sounds like something from their second album Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge. Worse still, not only did they rip off Green Day, but they ripped off Queen on more than one occasion through the album. That really hurt. I did like track #3, though the name escapes me for the moment. But Gerard Way needs vocal lessons. He can't sing for shit. I was going to give it a 5 out of 10, for at least being techincally functional. Then I heard the bonus track, which completely ripped off The Dresden Doll's Coin-Operated Boy in both piano style and vocal style. I almost cried. So, all in all, it's a 3 out of 10. Don't download it. Don't buy it. Don't even listen to it unless you can help it. It's just cookie-cutter crap.


Anonymous said...

Saludos, no te sientas mal, no es momento de excusas sino de tomar acciones que buenas o malas serán sólo tuyas.

Anonymous said...

welcome back home!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey do what ever you have to do and whatever you FEEL is right. AND, WELCOME BACK!!!