Thursday, October 19, 2006

On coin-operated boys

If the title of this note doesn't indicate my excitement in seeing The Dresden Dolls at The Vic this Friday, nothing does. Nothing. I really want to take a shitload of pics, but I still can't find my fucking camera, so I dunno what I'll do. I might bring a disposable and take a bunch, and then just scan 'em in, the ol' fashioned way.

Anyway, I need to start writing here more. I maintain about six other blogs asides this one, but I like this one as much as the others, and it's a shame I don't update more often. Then again, I guess I have blogs because I'm a writer at heart, as well as an actress, and I want to make my stamp in writing, not just with books or in magazines or newspapers, but also in the blogging world. I'd like to someday have a blog as popular as, say, Tucker Max's blog, both in the sense that lots of people read it and love it, and in the sense that I can make money off of it.

But enough of my rambling. Life in general, at the moment, is good, if complicated and with its down moments. But it's all karma, right? All downs have ups and vice-versa, and I just need to keep moving forward in life, regardless. As I've mentioned already, I'd decided at first to skip college for awhile, but, with some encouragement, I've decided to give transferring into DePaul a shot. I hear it's not really all that hard to get into, if pretty expensive. But I've been around DePaul a lot already, and I like it a lot, and I'd love to study there and see how things pan out.

I'm also now looking up apartments, since both dad and I agree that it's just not a good idea for me to keep mooching off Manda. I'm more than grateful to her for her hospitality and for letting me even stay here, but I don't want to keep bothering her or getting in her way. I think I might just be overthinking a lot of things in general, but I get the feeling that there will be no dorm space over at DePaul for the winter quarter, so an apartment seems like the logical choice, and one downtown. I'd need to either transfer to the Disney Store on Michigan Ave. or get a new job. Getting a new job just might be better though, 'cause then I can go find a job that pays better. Either way, I'm starting to move forward there, so we'll just see what happens. And, as Tim Gunn says (and as the Project Runway NERD I am), I just have to "make it work".

So, I'm juggling a lot of thoughts and things and processes at the moment, but I'm pretty determined on making things work out. I don't want to back down, and I don't want to give up. I want to prove that I can do things my way and that, in that thought process, I can also do things right. Not everything should be the way others want it if that's not what makes you happy. Being here in Chicago, the prospect of living, studying and working here, and jumpstarting an writing and acting career...that's what makes me happiest. It's probably very selfish of me, but what can you do?

In terms of personal life...well, lemme take a stab at writing about that, even though I suck at talking about myself. I've made friends here in Chicago, mainly the ones I know at DePaul. I'm definitely looking to gain more friends around here, as the months pass by, because I like being with people and I like having fun. I need to make a huge mental note to get back in contact with friends from back home, because I left them all hanging. It wasn't my intention to do that...but that's how it turned out. Love life is goin' steady. It's just the sort of relationship I want to be in. It has its serious and perhaps emotional moments (not to be confused with angst), but there's also a lot of fun in it. I feel very comfortable in this relationship, and I feel that we fit each other awesomely. I'd like to see this relationship last for quite awhile.

And in terms of Thanksgiving...I really don't know what I'm gonna do for that. I want to spend it with Rob's family, actually, but I've yet to ask. If I can't, then I might just call up my good friend Yestebel, who now lives in Boston with her fiancée and her son Demian, and see if I can spend it with them.

Life's an adventure, and you shouldn't live it any less than that. Or that's my philosophy, at any rate.


Guili said...

it's nice to see you back

Anonymous said...

it is an adventure indeed and I'm happy to see how it'sgoing for you.