As for this semester, I'm probably going to shoot myself in a month's time. I did the suicide move and took six classes: one department class, two concentration classes, one minor class, one "take this or you don't fucking graduate" class, and one class that I don't need but wanted to take. I just finished a seven-hour study session for two tests I have next week, so you can imagine how the work load's been. But I still have time to involve myself in random things with friends and drink and such. And to even date. So no, I'm not single anymore. I kinda miss the single life, but my guy's great, so it's not a terrible loss.
So anyway, a recent conversation with someone has spurred me onto this particular train of thought. The topic was, of course, about religion and spirituality. At the moment, to avoid confusion and long speeches, I simply said I was agnostic. So, of course the person remarked at the hypocrisy of this, since agnostics are generally believed to neither believe nor disapprove of the existence of God and such. But I really wasn't in the mood to argue or to explain my beliefs in detail, so I just dropped it. Besides, we're all entitled to our own beliefs.
What, then, are mine in specifics? Well, for easy reference, here they are in list form.
- I do not believe in the institution of religion. From my perspective, it has done nothing good for society. Rather, it creates fanatics, gives false hope, and is the basis of terrible discrimination. Not to mention quite a few wars, including the current "war" on terrorism, however fake said war is. I know that all three things can be created through other means (this island's political climate is a perfect example of how fanatical people can become as a cause of individual politicians). But, religion, as I understand it, is meant to guide people, and it just does such a lackluster job at it.
- I think that neither myself nor anyone else has the power to prove or disprove the existence of a higher being, be it God or whatever else it is. If something does exist, we'll never know it, and maybe it's better that way.
- Regardless of #2, I am a proponent of determinism. My main reason for this is because, in the debate of free will vs. destiny, I find free will to be way too chaotic to have any real basis in the universe. Everything to the existence of this universe to the relationships we make really just don't seem like they can happen at random. This would also mean that I hold great value to the past, since the past determines today's society, and the chain goes on like that.
- As I've mentioned before in past entries, I'm also a supporter of existentialism. Though the idea goes against determinism, the way I believe in it doesn't go against my beliefs at all. Everything that happens might have a reason and might be pre-determined, but I fully believe that it's up to each human being to decide what to make of this and their lives. Basically, we take the events that come at us, and we decide how to interpret it and how to go about it. In this way, I also place higher value on the individual's beliefs and not on society's beliefs and social constructions.
- Finally, I think it would now go without saying that, in a choice of religion, philosophy and science, I fall into the philosophy group. Asides reasons mentioned, I just can't support a religion because so much is based on theories that are usually not up for change (and depending, up for debate either). And so much just isn't based on reason and logic that there's no way I can look at religion as a guide for myself. As for science, while it appeals to my logic, it doesn't provide me with any basis of sustaining myself.
At any rate, what's more important to me now isn't whether God exists or not. It's surviving the semester.